The Truth About Moving Abroad; The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

one of the best and most rewarding decisions I ever made was to move out of my country after graduating from university. the idea of every day being different from the last, full of discovery and new challenges was more appealing to me than any traditional job prospect. I fantasized about escaping the normal life path and forging a new one on my own.

for many, traveling the world is often romanticized as a dream where life is always beautiful and perfect, free from “real” responsibility and obligations. what I’ve learned is that life happens wherever you are and just like anything, your attitude determines your experience.

while living abroad most certainly is beautiful it isn’t perfect. I have learned a different language, camped in the Sahara desert, and hiked to the peak of the third-tallest volcano in the world. but, I have also slept with bedbugs, been harassed by foreign men, and been turned away by immigration more times than I’d like to admit.

truth is, I lied in the title. there’s not really anything bad or ugly that comes from living abroad, at least from how I choose to look at it. there are a lot of things that come with living in a foreign country that aren’t good or bad, just true.

if you’re looking for a perfect life where you can run away from problems and reality you won’t find it by moving abroad. what you will find is a life rich in experience and wonder that will teach you more than you could imagine.

here are some truths that I have learned from my experience.

Self-discovery

before going abroad in 2019 I was stumbling through life in the daze of my early twenties wondering if this is all life is. school, jobs, money. eat, sleep, repeat.

and I hate to say it but the cliché is true; abroad changed my life.

the minute I stepped off the plane, a world that once seemed so small suddenly became very, very big. I was confronted with the most perplexing concept I’ve ever come across; myself. in an unfamiliar country with unfamiliar people the only one I could really turn to was myself. and in the moments of stress, struggle, awe, and bliss I started to see who I really was when I wasn’t being told or influenced by anyone else to fit the mold I once occupied.

I began to explore not one world but two.

when you travel abroad you will learn your strengths and your weaknesses. you will learn what you like and what you don’t like. you will learn what you want and what you don’t want. you will learn what’s important to you and what isn’t. you will see the world around you and decide how you want to show up in it.

as I saw the world and all of its possibilities, a beautiful reflection emerged showing all of the possibilities for myself.

what they don’t tell you is that going out in the world teaches you how to go within.

What’s important in life becomes clear

as you transition to a new place where all of your familiar comforts are suddenly nowhere to be found you realize what you really need from life.

a lot of realizing what you need comes from learning what you don’t need. packing all of your belongings up into a suitcase for most of us is impossible. we have to make choices to take what’s important and leave what isn’t. in that you realize those things you thought you needed, you really don’t.

& the space left in the absence of those things is filled with moments, experiences, community, and devotion to what you believe in.

how you live and how you love determine the quality of your life, not the things you own.

what you need, and what’s really important is intangible.

Expect the unexpected

if there’s any advice I can give it’s that the best expectations are no expectations.

traveling can only be planned so much, there are things that will be different once you arrive and unforeseen circumstances; you will just have to adjust. you may think you’re on your way to a 7 o’clock ferry that will take 2 hours and suddenly you’re sleeping on a mat next to a monk on an overnight ferry that takes 6 hours.

flexibility and laughter will be your best friends in moments of disappointment and shock. don’t take anything too seriously and always look for the silver lining.

don’t hold on too tight to the hope that things will go the way that you have imagined in your head 100 times. maybe it will but when you’re traveling, chances are it won’t. embrace the unpredictability.

that’s one of the best things about living abroad, you are always experiencing something new and unexpected.

Feeling guilt

something I never expected to come along with the joy, curiosity, and excitement of this lifestyle is guilt.

I am so painfully blessed to love and be loved in a way that every “see you soon” feels a bit like heartbreak. consistent growth and change are the leaders of my journey as a traveler and the silent killer is the grief that comes with it. the knowledge that I will see my family and friends again but never in the same way is as beautiful as it is gutwrenching.

you are leaving your home, family, and friends behind and while you are experiencing you are also missing. missing birthdays, holidays, dinners, quality time. you are making memories you will never forget while simultaneously missing out on memories you will never get back.

and while we’re lucky to live in the age of technology some things just aren’t the same from 3,000 miles away.

when you move abroad there is guilt for the life you are leaving behind.

Home becomes ambiguous

as you travel around the world, you learn the skill of making anywhere and anything feel like home. living in different places you have the joy of sharing yourself and your heart with each city and person you come in contact with.

but when I ask myself “where is home?” I don’t think of anywhere in particular, I think of everywhere.

home is in the United States where I have my friends and family. home is in Spain where I fell in love with the culture and lifestyle. home is in Thailand where the people are kind and the land is nurturing. and there are so many more places around the world that pique my interest and I know could offer me something that is a piece of what I consider home.

while I’m extremely blessed to live the life I do, I feel like I’m missing out on some of the most comforting aspects of a home. I don’t decorate or ever fully feel settled because nothing feels permanent. I can’t fully give myself to a place or people because I know that eventually, I will have to say goodbye.

I’ve had friends who went abroad and realized that home is where they came from and the only place they want to be. I’ve had friends who went abroad and realized that home is exactly where they are.

for some, travel makes it very clear where home is. for others, like me, the more I travel the less I know where I belong.

Emotions are inescapable

I have had moments in some of the most beautiful places in the world and still felt like life was a chore that I was dreading. sounds horrible, I know, but it’s true.

mental health is important everywhere. the rush and distraction of traveling will eventually wear off leaving you sitting in a cafe one day staring at a beautiful view of your surroundings thinking what the hell am I doing, who am I, why do I feel this way?

wherever you are, you’re true emotions will follow. moving abroad does not erase your struggles, if anything, it emphasizes them. so, if you’re looking to run away make sure it’s not from your feelings because they always know where to find you.

Gratitude

I will say the greatest takeaway from living abroad is gratitude.

gratitude for where you are and the beautiful unique experiences of it all.

also gratitude for where you came from. it’s easier to appreciate where and what you come from when you’re away from it. funny how that works, isn’t it?

gratitude is something you can embody anywhere and everywhere you are. whether you are living abroad or not, gratitude has the ability to transform your experience.

I saw a quote on Instagram that spoke so simply of the miracle of gratitude.

“without gratitude, everything can feel like nothing

with gratitude, nothing can feel like everything”

radhi Devlukia

to put it simply, living abroad is an irreplaceable experience.

if you’re wondering whether or not to make the jump, think of the fragility and fleeting nature of life and ask yourself: why not?